How to Get Traffic from Homeland Security
By IzzyM
Everyone one who writes on the web, or who runs a website, knows that one of the biggest difficulties is attracting enough traffic.
Now, there is a brand new way to get traffic to your forum, hub, site or blog simply by using any one of a list of so-called ‘sensitive words’, guaranteed to generate some interest and traffic from the US Homeland Security.
This is not to be scorned at if you run impression-based ads on your site, as every visitor counts.
The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) employ subcontractors to sift through sites, forums, blogs and social media sites including Facebook, Twitter and MySpace looking for terrorist or anti-American sentiment, which in view of 9-11, can only be applauded.
If you use words deemed to be anti-American in any way, you could find yourself in trouble. Not only will they read all of your pages, and every single social networking post you’ve ever made, they investigate everything there is to know about you.
The DHS probably even have a photo of your house on file, as well as photos of your car, wife, children and pet dog.
Satellite imagery is pretty amazing these days, no matter where in the world you are.
All government departments are unwieldy, so once you have attracted their interest, you will find you get lots of views as your file is passed up through the different levels of seniority.
This level of interest also guarantees you lots of views in the future, no matter what you write, because everything will be scrutinized and double-checked.
List of words to guarantee you traffic
This is NOT a complete list of sensitive or buzzwords guaranteed to help you get traffic, but they are a good starting point. Most of the words below relate in some way to bio-terrorism.
·drill - we all know a drill is a tool, but it can also relate to military training
·strain - to damage,injure OR to be under stress, or it is a type of virus or bacteria
·outbreak – a spate but also an epidemic (relating to disease)
·Human to animal – refers to a disease that transmittable between man and animals
illegal immigrant – aliens from another country who have entered yours without permission
· virus – a micro-organism normally associated with disease, although it could also relate to messing up computers
· recovery – to attain health after an illness, or to fix a computer software
· deaths – end of life for any living creature
· collapse – to fall down, relating to illness or sudden death
· trojan – related to computer viruses that steal information
For a full list of US DHS 'sensitive words' check link at foot of page for Privacy Impact Assessment document.
What you want to do is write an article using any of the above words, and then TWEET it. That is really important as you can see from the table that Twitter is a closely monitored site.
You can even write articles that have nothing to do with the above buzzwords, then Tweet them to #deaths or #strain, etc.
Reach out to your target audience – in this case the DHS. Make sure they see you! You could double their interest by backlinking your article to any of the above sites, or by posting on their forums or comments sections.
Word of warning: If you really are a terrorist, you might want to avoid doing any of the above. Also, if you are wanted by any federal agency for anything at all, you might to avoid this method of attracting traffic.
Thanks go to the following websites
- Privacy Impact Assessment document
Privacy Impact Assessment. For a full list of words guaranteed to attract the attention of Homeland Security, see the bottom of this document. - EPIC - Electronic Privacy Information Center
The Electronic Privacy Information Center (EPIC) focuses public attention on emerging civil liberties, privacy, First Amendment issues and works to promote the Public Voice in decisions concerning the future of the Internet.
Comments
I am guaranteed a satellite visit to my home right at this minute! So long as they read all my hubs I don't mind :) I've added another link and a video, by the way.
Don't you think using up security analysts time by baiting them to visit websites to determine if you are indeed a threat to this country could become a monumental waste of tax payer dollars? Are you not in your own right causing harm to our country by promoting this method? Would'nt you rather see these our security forces spending time going after the real bad guys rather than a bunch of knuckleheads?
No, I think this is a great idea for getting traffic :) Did you watch the video? The DHS are already stepping way over their powers as they seem to be gauging public opinion about political events, unless you think that is in their remit too.
Why not just dial 911 next time you have a headache and some kid is at the public pool drowning? Multiply that x whatever and then tell us how your actions are for the public good.
The department of homeland security loves to put on a trojan and drill all of us. I wonder if they track smiley faces too? :o/
Cool hub Izzy! :o)
Thanks Tom, i'm sure they do! They'll be having a giggle just now.
@Neil Horton, you need to calm down and stop taking everything so seriously! Look on this as job creation. If everyone uses the 'sensitive' words (full list in one of the links at the foot of page) and increase their work-load, they'll just have to employ more staff!
Job Creation.......lol....Believe me when I say, I am hardly taking you seriously.
Good. I believe that makes two of us :)
This is interesting. After reviewing that list, I can't believe they have the staff to research all of those words, especially some of the IT related words. You'd think they'd narrow it down by using more long-tail keywords, than just "virus." I guess WebMD is on their top 10 list. Great article! And great idea for traffic!
I believe they sub-contract the work out to IT companies, but everyone is getting looked at if they use those words. Yes traffic is traffic, this one will be getting a few hits from them too. lol
IzzyM has proved to be a brave hubber. I don't think you know some hubbers are agent to US Homeland Security. Creating hub like this, could place you on their watch list. Even the probabity of getting clicks from this dangerous move is low.
Hey IzzyM, I guess I should finally get around to writing the article I wanted but haven't gotten to. Shhhh...but don't tell anyone..."How To Take Down Homeland Security" was the title I was going to use. Please don't tell anyone. LOL! :) Great hub! :)
@income guru Who cares about clicks? I'm signed up to Hubads and impressions count lol In the immediate hours after publishing this, I saw on Analytics real time my profile page being studied - A LOT. Oh well, I'm on their hit list. I have nothing to hide, but if they want to keep looking they are welcome to delve through my portfolio :) Oh and yes you were right - they were hubbers, so the DHS have got hub profiles themselves!
@Cags, at least there will be two hubs in the Homeland Security feed if you write that one :) Anyway, to attract their interest, you want a title that says something like "How to Collapse Homeland Security" seeing that is a buzzword. By the way, I tweeted this hub to them :)
SStumbles back in mumbling horse...! I have no doubt that some sites are audited for DHS reasons. However, It would seem that if the technology was available to do this is the first place, there then exist the technology to block the average user from even knowing. It would also tend to suggest that not only would Izzy see spikes in his profile, all who have read this post, or commented on it would or rather should show similar spikes in traffic... So Far, Nuttin Here dude!
Maybe my words just aren't worth reading in the first place, or perhaps the men in black already know I'm some gung ho, redneck, right-wing American Loving, God Fearing, geek...lol
Personally, I am more afraid of the 80 yr old lady that lives next door than I am the all seeing eye. And am I in no way suggesting that you should not have the right to yell FIRE in a movie theatre, but be prepared for the consequences of antagonizing the man. If that is your thing... be happy
Hey Neil, apparently you don't spend much time on commenting on people's hubs, which to me is obvious considering you're a level 1 commenter and secondly you're calling IzzyM a man. IzzyM isn't male. She is a very nice lady when others are respectful and not so nice when they are not. It's never recommended to assume someone is male.
As far as you receiving additional traffic, just because you posted a comment? Well, so far you've not said anything that is worthy of attention by the Department of Homeland Security and I'm pretty sure that you being a "gung-ho redneck, right-wing American loving, God Fearing, geek would make you someone not worthy of attention by Homeland Security. Myself however, would rather tear down the present government in place and replace it with something that works effectively and efficient, instead of having a bunch of morons running National Security, both domestic and foreign protection and handling taxpayer's revenue. The idiots in office and the fools running the Department of Homeland Security and the rest of this Nation are just that, idiots.
@IzzyM- I apologize to you for mucking up your hub with my comment. If you see it as that. If not, then no harm no foul. LOL! :)
Hey Cags no worries :) US politics is outside my remit anyway (who said that! - oh no I wanna get investigated by DHS just so I can get some traffic!) Hope you get lots of traffic for your comment :)
Cool! It would be interesting to see if the Department of Homeland Security wanted to keep their eye on me. Considering I am a U.S. citizen, was born here and didn't come from some other location. Not to mention, I don't fit their criteria of being Anti-American. I am Anti-Government and have no use for them or it's dishonest actions. It's hard to understand that people gave up freedom so this pathetic organization could be hatched on the people. The Department of Homeland Security and the Patriot Act are two atrocities on the people, both are frauds, just as much as the politicians who run the country. LOL! The willful ignorance of the citizens is what brought this upon America and if many don't wake up out of their coma state of mind, then this Country is going to crash. I know it's not going to be any fun watching the American Currency collapse nor is it going to be any fun to watch it's Government collapse because of too many stupid actions by politicians. But, it seems like it's the only way CHANGE is going to come to this country. So, I say...let them come. ;)
You should watch that video above if you haven't already. According to epic.org, the DHS is watching people like you already with your 'subversive' political beliefs. Hey what happened to free speech?
Free speech ends where sedition begins. Would you not call a denial of service attack created within the US and Promoted by a US Citizen an act of sedition? Put two people together promoting such an act could be considered a conspiracy. Either of which could be considered a felony if malice can be proven. There are plenty of Supreme Court rulings that could be cited in favor of the Federal Govenment on this one, and just as many people serving long sentence for being nieve. I use the word Nieve, for fear my own right to free speech may get bounced on for violating HP's TOS. lol
I'm pretty sure 'nieve' is Spanish for 'snow', did you mean 'naive'?
Do the CIA click adverts?
No, lol, they don't. But they do create impressions!
Show us all your Analytics account or server logs showing all those hits from the man.
No. And I do not believe it is just one man, or woman for that matter, and what's more, I don't really care. All traffic is welcome :)
lol............ummmm hummmm... sure....typical
PS. THE MAN is American Slang for the Governmental Establishment. Which I tend to think now does'nt really care about increasing your page views by reading your hub...lol.. This is why countries like Spain are always on the wrong side of the coin and begging for the American Aid, all the while spouting off how we should be put back into our place...lol If not for the US, most of the worlds industrialized nations would still be third world and living in mud huts. I must admit though, you did have the world fooled for a while with that Christopher Columbus thing...lol
I just tweeted this hub, let me know if the traffic goes up! Thanks for this hub!
@ Neil, I may live in Spain but I am not Spanish and have little respect for Spanish politicians and corrupt bankers myself, so if you are trying to wind me up...FAIL!
@nextstopjupiter, thanks for that and yes I will let you know. Up till now I have only had one tco view so it'll show if I have any more.
Very informative hub and interesting comments. Thanks to the satelites I doubt any of us have such a thing as privacy. You can google anyone and find out all about them whether they are on the internet or not.
This is so true, there are so many sites out there whose sole purpose seems to be to release personal details of people! I love when mine is out of date and they haven't noticed :)
Hi Izzy, you sure have found a creative way to get traffic and whoever knew that writing an article about drill bits was viewed as suspicious? I wonder what they make of all my hubs on 'invasive species' then LOL!
Have to say that I wasn't aware that Spain spent all their time begging America for aid, I thought that was what EU taxpayers were for LOL!
Hope you get loads of impressions and floods of traffic.
Hey as you know (but not everyone apparently), this is just a sideways look at the whole issue of cyber-terrorism and the protection of America (I'm sure to get another hit for that word).
They don't work for Google that's for sure.
As you say too, learn something new about Spain every day! Maybe he meant Mexico? Think about it - Spain/Mexico, almost the same, even though they are half a world apart. 'Mexico' is on that list too btw, bound to get two hits for this!
Had America not rescued Spain from the Natzis in WW2, they would all be speaking German by now. Now if we can only get their women to shave their pits all would be good. lol IZZY, you should be thanking me for all the attention and comments I have driven to your hub...lol
PS... still waiting on all that evidence on the huge govenmental visits you have gotten from your security threat keywords...hahaha
Oh you mean the war that America joined when it was already won in Europe? That war?? lol
Still no stats? lol Apparently you have a problem with those...on all subjects....lol
I don't share my stats with anyone, so you will have a long wait...much as we British did before you decided to enter the war..hmmm?
I guess it's better to be paranoid than get caught off guard. I just hope they click on the links as well. LOL
Gosh, yes, they check EVERYTHING! These guys are thorough! LOL
Hahah I hope this is not the reason my site has been on the up lately. Never mind I will tweet and facebook this one for you so you can test the theory out
Aww thanks!! I'll let you know what happens!
I can see where the feds would be looking for certain kinds of words, but the ones that you list? I mean, I had a virus that really put a strain on my whole day, I threw up so much, thought I'd collapse. Told the hubbie, forget about using the trojans tonight. Don't know what strain it was but I hope it isn't an outbreak or the whole house will be down with it. Looking forward to a speedy recovery.
LOL, bound to get a few new hits tonight with your comment!! Hehehe!
haha ok, no worries, I just said that as above, if you cover more controversial topics, DHS is really just the tip of the iceberg, check some of our interest
http://red-pill.org/the-matrix-is-watching/
and of course, as you can see, WE can see who visits, which is how I knew you hadn't :)
then please feel free to self destruct (delete) this and/or the comment above as you see fit ;)
This is fascinating. Thanks for the link! What software are you using to see such detailed analysis of your visitors?
Hi Izzy - that is Woopra
Thanks! I checked out your hub and looked at Woopra,and it definitely is amazing software that I didn't know existed. It is also outside my price range, but would be great if I owned a proper business online and not just affiliate sites.
outside your price range? its completely free unless you're doing more than 10k pageviews a day? its perfect for affiliate sites, we run lots of them.
I think you missed the small line at the bottom
"Basic - 30,000 actions/mo - 1 Label - No Agents - Ads Supported (Free - For non-commercial use only)"
http://www.woopra.com/help/free-version-of-woopra/
just sign up and crack on ;)
Hmmm...signed up but they seem to want to bill me, so I guess I won't be using it.
when you add a site, are you clicking the bottom bar below the 3 package options to select basic? I would guess not?
Thanks again for that important bit of info, I would not have noticed that option had you not told me it was there! Even then, I had to look carefully to see it.
no, they're not making it easy any more i'll give you that, we signed up on the beta in 2008 so I hadn't seen the new sales page before until tonight either.
have fun ;)
@ Neil Horton - your grasp of history is about as good as your grasp of security agencies visiting websites.
Germany didn't invade Spain :)
Don't put ideas in his head LOL Now is a great time for Germany to invade Spain if they so wished, but no they didn't before. Much as the US never won the war in Europe.
Whatever... Tell it to Franco... and if IzzyFraud got just one visit by a security agency I would be suprised. But he has not and can't prove it. He knows it.
I'm not a 'he' as has been pointed out to you before, and no I can't prove I've had a visit from Homeland Security through Analytics, but I am gaining more and more traffic each day to this hub. Morpheus above proved that not only the DHS, but other US security forces are indeed watching the internet very closely. Oh and Franco is dead, so no-one can tell him anything.
The question is'nt whether the security departments visit websites, the question is have they come to your hub because you used some keywords... The extra traffic I would suggest is from our banter back and forth...lol... PS. the mustach kind of threw me off...lol
I am 100% certain they did, because that is their job. But no, I have no proof, the point of this hub is not to gain traffic, but to show people that the DHS and other security people are watching the internet very closely. The commenters here have shown the proof in their links, as well as the links I provided in the body of the hub itself.
Hey Izzy.
I guess I won't be talking about PMS and toilet paper for awhile since I got banned for 3 days. On another thread. I have no idea why. The posts I made appear to be intact.
And here I've been trying to be nice. Why just yesterday I began a forum reply with (not to you, certainly), "I see your point. The one on the top of your head where the brain sucker landed" but I deleted that part.
I think perhaps someone from Homeland Security got me banned because I was talking to you.
Hey, I bet I can use all those buzzwords in a hub. I bet I can use them all in one little paragraph.
Wow, you sure got lots of hubs with interesting stuff for me to read. No point in me reading the forums if I can't reply. I'll wait until I get unbanned.
Aw no, sorry to hear you got banned. Still worse may be coming if you post on articles designed to attracted the security force's attention, like this one. Don't let that stop you though, it's a free country even though they don't let you post comments such as the one you thought about posting. I'd have fallen about laughing, but others don't have a sense of humor!
This might get Homeland Security's attention:
Tom Ridge pissed off the Pope!
Actually, it was the local bishop due to Ridge's pro-abortion position. Such position was, in my opinion, much ado about why Sarah was McCain's mate instead of Tommy Boy.
Tom is from my neck of the woods, and I have had several conversations with him. Mostly about Scottish terrorist cells operating out of Alicante, Spain.
(Hey you spooks, I'm kidding, I'm kidding! About the terrorist cells, anyway).
Really, I have talked to Tom. Years ago. I love the guy, but I would have made Sarah my mate too, given the choice between the two, and politics aside.
Scottish terrorist cells in Alicante! lol Ya nut, you'll have me getting investigated at this rate! Other than that, I have absolutely no idea who you are referring to in your comment, but no doubt DHS will! Ah well job creation, keeps someone employed in the security forces.
Izzy, you mean about Tom Ridge?
You Scot snot expatriates living in Spain apparently have no knowledge of what's going on in the country that made the U.K. their bitch.
Tom Ridge was the first head honcho of Homeland Security. Before that he was governor of Pennsylvania. Before that he was a congressman from Pennsylvania. I first met him when he was nobody and running for that office. Actually, I know his wife better than I know him. Wink, wink. Perfectly innocent story, actually. She ran the library a block from where I worked. I used to go over there at lunch time and read the newspapers, and she would occasionally strike up a conversation with me.
Anyway, if you get busted by Homeland Security, I might be able to get you a get-out-of-jail-free card.
You know who Sarah Palin is right? Did you never watch Saturday Night Live?
Whew! That is good to know that you play Monopoly! I like that game too. No never watched Saturday Night Live but have seen Sarah Palin's name discussed numerous times on HP's forum but I don't usually bother reading to see who she is. Is she is presidential election candidate or something? I know I could go look her up, but I can't be bothered. She doesn't affect my life at all...
This is so awesome!!!!!
Oh my...if you'd seen the things I published on Myspace years ago...I never have to worry! I'm beyond positive that they read everything I write!
I'm not showing any traffic from any source that seems to be DHS though, perhaps I'm not doing it right any more.
Oh, and the F.B.I. - I'm on first name basis with some...I only spent four hours with them one day in a federal building in Dallas!
I wonder if the founding fathers ever imagined they were developing a government that would work so hard to protect itself from the people it says it serves. Such internal surveillance goes to show just how out of touch the government really is with its people. Peace
Hey Izzy, looks like the traffic is rising from a couple weeks ago. LOL. At least the hub score.
So Wesman Todd Shaw, what did the FBI teach you in 4 hours? I'm a member of the FBI (Female Body Inspectors).
I saw traffic rising - so it was you three, not the FBI or Homeland Security! They watch everything, trust me on that.
Did you hear about the young British couple heading off on holiday to Cali? Before they left they had some banter on Twitter about digging up Marylin Monroe (a joke referring to a TV program) and 'destroying' America, which seems to a buzzword for having a good time.
They were met off the plane by Homeland Security, jailed overnight, had their luggage searched for shovels (to dig up Marylin Monroe with) and deported the next day.
Neither had ever been in trouble with the Law before. Don't think they will be returning to the US any time soon, if ever.
Luckily I am not planning on visiting the US!
"A Homeland Security official named Brian Doyle was arrested for solicit sex from a teenager, who was of course a cop in the Internet. And some of their chats went on for hours, because you know Homeland Security, they take forever to come. I don't mind that this guy is a pervert, but if you are one of our fist-line of defense Homeland Security people, and you can't figure out that it's a setup when a teenager on the Internet says 'I'm 13, and I think old guys who work for the government are hot,' yes, then you are literally sitting around with your d*ck in your hands." --Bill Maher
Sad!
There are perverts in every walk of life. Hope he loses his job.
lol, the comment thread is just as funny as the hub. I'm off to write an article on back recovery for when you strain yourself using a drill to fix your barn so that it doesn't collapse.
LOL, you are just a dare-devil!! heheh!
What is really funny is my caustic input in this comment thread does'nt seem to be the reason for my getting banned from the forums which seems to be permenant for much less input than here....lol...But that was a surgery and 8 kidney stone. Must have hurt the rainbow flavored feewins of some of the Bay Area founders..lol
I am genuinely sorry to hear that Neil. The forum regulations are pretty strict these days which is a shame really, because we all like a good drama!
That said, I'm not understanding your full comment, you had surgery for 8 kidney stones? Or is that an expression in your neck of the woods. Comments also about 'feewins' (what's that?) and Bay Area founders are also lost on me. I'm just a simple country girl.
lol I missed a word or two... I had 8 stones removed... a couple left in the kidney that they may have to go back in for..temporary stint in the ureter until next Monday which feels like a kick in the kidney each time I urinate..But the good thing is the kidney is still alive and working so I cant complain. Remember about 4 weeks ago we were commenting about some other hubbers talking about the ELITE... Well that was the forum that got me on the hubber shit list....lol..Check it out and see if you think there was valid cause. A guy cant even play devil's advocate or complain about the status quo on this site or you risk getting banned. They are watching me heavily and have booted one of my hubs, and deleted one of my questions...lol
I am sorry to hear about your kidney stones - that is incredibly painful and sorry to hear you are going through it. At least they are operated on and things should improve in time.
I remember the thread you are talking about. Randy Godwin also got a forum ban at that time, and I didn't see him make any personal attack. Your comment was a bit caustic if I remember but not ban-wothy, I would have thought. Randy is on another ban just now, seems a bit crazy but it's their site, their rules, their decisions.
Yes they don't seem to like anyone stirring the pot. Even Cagsil is on a long ban too. Maybe they are members of Homeland Security?
So we are welcome as long as there is no discord and decent. How sad it is when your every comment and hub must never raise an eyebrow or depart from the norm. Perhaps I shall begin writing about this flaming form of censorship around the blogisphere where freedom of speech is appreciated and not condemned.
I feel my comments within that forum have been more than confirmed by the actions of the hubpage Moderators who clearly have no concept of dynamic and thought provoking banter.
I forgot you were fairly new to this site. You wouldn't believe the amount of people who get banned on the forums, especially those that enter those never-ending political/religious arguments LOL It happens all the time. Usually the first ban is for 24 hours, then next time it may be a week, but I doubt if anyone is banned forever - though I have heard of 6 months or more happening.
Oh this is so funny, you made my week, and HB please do not ban anyone, this is much too good.
Izzy are there any more of your hubs that, wind people up so well. Perfect.
Thank you.
LOL, maybe the one about the Queen of England being black, you can do a search for it on my profile if you are interested. Yes the comments here are priceless!
I got banned for a week for that last comment I made in reply to you on that forum thread where you indicated you were confused.
It's all your fault!
Were you? Really? Oh well you have joined a very elite club if you have suffered your first banning :)
Second time. For much ado about nothing.
I shouldn't have said you should sic Homeland Security on him. Because everyone knows you can do it.
This is very true, a real threat and not just a perceived one! [gg]
I think HubPages is the rainbow flaming arm of Homeland Security.....lol....just in case...I'll say goodbye now...lol
Oh come one, the worst they can do is bar you off the forums for a while. They don't tie you up and sling you in jail like Homeland Security do.
Max Dalton 3 months ago
Hi Izzy,
Very interesting article. I don't think I'm going to use it, but it's an out-of-the-box concept!
Max.